Meditations on the Fruit of the Spirit - Self-Control
About a year ago, we bought a small chest-style freezer and brought it into our basement. It is exciting, time saving, and cost effective to be able to have a supply of meat, vegetables, bread and so on without a trip to the store. For a little context, we lived in Manhattan for 16 years where we only had an apartment sized fridge and its tiny freezer, so this is a novel and fun experience for me.
That is, until it’s time to plan dinner. I’m upstairs, comfortable and tired, and the meat for tomorrow’s dinner is frozen solid, somewhere near the bottom of the freezer in the cold basement. Then I find myself not excited at all to go get it. In fact, it’s a thing. I only say all that to say this: because of my strong hesitance to get off the sofa and go downstairs, I now keep my ice cream treats in that freezer, as a hindrance to overindulgence. A little distance and discomfort has helped me have some self-control. Or has it?
With this article, we conclude the series “Meditations on the Fruit of the Spirit” with the fruit that Paul mentions last - self control. The words “self control” are found only once in the Old Testament, in Proverbs 25:28: “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.”
We do find examples of self-control or a lack of it in Old Testament characters. For one, Job, who suffered so much but did not curse God. Joseph, who showed self-control, not only when tempted physically by Potiphar’s wife, but he restrained himself from taking vengeance on his brothers. We certainly see a lack of self-control in King Saul, who couldn’t follow instructions and wait for Samuel to arrive and sacrifice, and who, in anger, threw a sword at David, nearly killing him.
Exercising self-control is a command given to all of us in the New Testament through the writings of the apostles, particularly in the letters of instruction to Timothy and Titus. Paul names elders in the Lord’s church, older men, young women, young men, all as Christians needing to learn self control. Women are told to use self control in their clothing habits. And of course, self control is demanded in our sexual lives. Peter lists self control in the virtues we should be nurturing: “supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control…” (2 Pet 1:6).
I have a young friend who has recently found salvation in Christ and has never been happier or felt more blessed. She wants so much for her family to know the Lord and submit to Him and receive salvation, but in general, they are not interested. Most of the time her attempts to talk to them fall flat. In looking at passages about self control, I came on the story of Paul preaching to Felix, and it reminds me of some people’s reaction to the gospel message:
“After some days Felix came with his wife Drusilla, who was Jewish,
and he sent for Paul and heard him speak about faith in Christ Jesus.
And as he reasoned about righteousness and self-control and the
coming judgment, Felix was alarmed and said, ‘Go away for the present.
When I get an opportunity I will summon you’” (Acts 24:24-26).
I see a possible sequence of reactions here that reflect what I think can happen. It’s based on the conclusion that Felix became “alarmed.” Felix was interested in talking about Jesus. Jesus was, and is, quite a phenomenon. Many people in this world enjoy looking to Him with some desire. “Righteousness” can be pleasant to talk about, too. Being right and good can sound appealing. Self-control takes it to a new level. It means taking action to change my behavior even when it doesn’t suit my desires. And coming judgement? Now, you’ve gone too far. I have to change my life or face judgement? Go away, we’ll talk about this later.
What makes self-control less jarring? Only an understanding of what God has done for me through Jesus. Read Paul’s words in Titus 2:11-14:
“For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people,
training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live
self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for
our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and
Savior Jesus Christ, who gave Himself for us to redeem us from all
lawlessness and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession
who are zealous for good works.”
List the blessings: God’s grace has come! Salvation has come for all people! We have hope - the appearing of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ! He gave Himself for us! He has saved us from all lawlessness. From our sinful ways, He has purified us for His own possession! We belong to Him! We are now people who are eager for good works.
What are we called on to “give up”? Only the ungodliness and worldly passions that don’t have any place in this glorious life - the impurities that cannot exist in God’s presence.
What does the Word do? It trains us to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives. It helps us keep our blessed hope in sight and contrasts freedom in righteousness with the lawlessness that once controlled us.
Only when I long to belong to Jesus, when in my heart, Jesus becomes the Savior Who has rescued me, Who is my hope for eternal life, only then the self-control necessary for godliness and holiness becomes, not frightening or oppressive, but a worthwhile path to a great reward.
Paul uses the illustration, in 1 Cor 9:25 of the athlete who gladly, even if painfully, uses self control in an effort to win the prize. And how much more glorious our “imperishable” reward - one that will never end, and will never be taken away.
Felix was not yet a believer. But we, even as Christians, still struggle to live lives of self-control. In Romans 7 and 8, Paul talks about the conflict of delighting in the law of God, yet battling the desires of the flesh. He says, “So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand” (Rom. 7:21).
That brings me back to my ice cream treats. I’ve concocted a little strategy that offers support in my effort to use self control. But I haven’t changed my heart toward them. Have I changed my heart fully toward Jesus?
I do believe being sober minded means that I should consider boundaries and hindrances that help me live a life of godliness. I can take simple actions on Saturday that help me be awake and aware and ready to worship on the Lord’s Day. Or I can self-impose rules that keep me out of places where I am tempted to sin in an attempt to fit in. My husband and I have always put boundaries in place in an effort to protect our marriage.
Yet, Galatians 5:24, which is the verse immediately after the listing fruit of the Spirit, says, “And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” This is drastic action, a true disdain for the works of the flesh. These artificial boundaries and hindrances are only successful when my heart values my eternal reward more than the temporary pleasure of sin. Paul says, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us” (Rom. 8:18). When I live to glorify God, I’m willing to crucify the flesh.
Reread Matthew 4 and considerJesus, who went into the wilderness for 40 long days of self-deprivation and isolation. When Satan came to test him, though unimaginably worn down physically and emotionally, Jesus quoted scripture to answer temptation. “It is written…” The solution to exercising self control may be assisted by my common sense rules, but it is truly loving Jesus for what He did for me, and having God’s word ready in my heart that conquers my fleshly desires.
How much do I value being with saints and joining in worship? Do I see it as a blessing to come out of the world for a few hours on the Lord’s day to commune with Christians and remember the Lord’s death and resurrection? Do I see my spiritual blessings as a greater treasure than being accepted by my worldly friends? Do I understand the treasure of my marriage, as an institution given by God and holy in His sight? If the answer is yes, self-control is the fruit of my heart.
I’m bringing to a close this study and series of articles that has meant so much to me. My faith has grown as I’ve read scripture and considered the fruit of the Spirit. In our last class meeting, one of my friends said, “We are all just trying to be more like Christ, and we certainly see Him in every fruit.”
My prayer for you, dear reader, is that you confidently and reverently go to God’s word daily, even if only for a few minutes. I know that you will see the Spirit working in the word, and I pray you allow it to work in your life.
And who knows who else the fruit in our lives may touch? I close with an inspiring quote from Dayna Mager: “When the Spirit bears fruit in our lives, it can affect how others spend their eternity.”